There is a lot of talk about home-cooked meals.  Fresher than the restaurants, more tasty and flavorful than processed fast food chains can handle.  Yes, I’ve heard of this theory.  I’m not saying growing up I did not have a delicious home-cooked meal from my mother’s kitchen growing up.  (My lawyer and other siblings thought this would be a good line to put in, just in case my mother ever got web-savvy.)  Whoever coined this phrase, obviously did not think this through.  They try to give you a sense of it’s going to be good.  But we know this is not always the case.  So “Home-cooked meal phrase coiner”  you better be prepared to put a retraction out there or at least a disclaimer or you may saying hello to “Class-Action Law Suit”.  

I’m recently, married and I have a new home.  My lovely wife Kerri is my “Home-maker”.  She cooks meals at home from time to time.  Many people are pleased with this.  Like the people from Tums, Rolaids, and Pepto-Bismol.  I’m kidding…kind of.  Let’s just say that most people do dinner and a movie. We do movie and then dinner, because at the end of the night at least you saw a movie.  

I guess if my eternal beloved would actually focus on the “cooked” part of home-cooked meals, I’d be better off.  She tries new organic, natural recipes that are hard to swallow.  You try chewing a mango pit.  

Kerri is always going on about how we’ve got to set the trend for our family to eat together at home.  This will keep our lines of communication open, and little Davy won’t join a gang or Cindy won’t run away. (DISCLAIMER: These are fictitious children names.  Kerri and Ron do NOT have ANY children…yet.  This a special note to our parents and their friends.  I mentioned something like this last time and we got angry letters from people who felt they should have been notified of the birth of our children.  Have you met my wife!?!?!!?  Believe me you’ll know when this happens.  The whole world will know when this happens.)  Anyways, Kerri is painting this beautiful picture of the Norman Rockwell painting our home should be. (Norman Rockwell never depicted the All-American simultaneously struck with food poisoning.)  At the end of her “Home-maker Rant”, I nod and say I agree with everything she said.  We should definitely have meals at home and be together with the family.  Conversing, encouraging and loving one another as a family should.  I tell her this reminds of the good ol’ red, white and blue……DOMINOES THEY DELIVER!!!  (And dinner conversation is so much easier when is not getting one’s stomach pumped).